How to Talk to Anyone?

Summary: This article presents the lessons learned from reading the book How to Talk to Anyone: 92 Little Tricks for Big Success in Relationships by Neil Lowndes. Anyone can become a good communication if the 92 little tricks are learnt by heart.

Gone are the days when web developers just need to sit in front of a screen and hack together the best-of-breed websites from the basement of their houses. Nowadays, good communication skills has become the top priority for web developers to lead a successful career. In this book, How to Talk to Anyone: 92 Little Tricks for Big Success in Relationships by Neil Lowndes, the author gives us a full pocket of tricks we can immediately employ to brush up our communication skills.

PART ONE: How to Intrigue Everyone Without Saying a Word

1. The Flooding Smile: to appear more genuine, instead of immediate smile, every time when you meet a person, look directly at the face for a second, pause, then give a big, warm smile with your mouth and your eyes
2. Sticky Eyes: pretend your eyes are glued to your conversation partner (for conversation between males, make your eyes less sticky)
3. Epoxy Eyes: fix the eyes on someone even if s(he) is not speaking – use if you love that person
4. Hang by Your Teeth: to get a great posture, imagine you hang with your jaw when every time you go through a door frame, this power posture will give your more confidence
5. The Big-Baby Pivot: treat everyone in the way you welcome a lovely kid, give warm smile, turn the body and give total attention to welcome others
6. Hello Old Friend: visualize in the brain a new acquaintance as an old friend – people don’t care how much you know until they know how much you care about them
7. Limit the Fidget: fidgeting hurts credibility, never let your fidgeting (hand motions near the face) get in the way when talking
8. Hanss Horse Sense: keep an eye on the reaction of the listeners while speaking, then plan your moves accordingly
9. Watch the Scene Before You Make the Scene: mental rehearsal for important moments

PART TWO: How to Know What to Say After You Say Hi

10. Make a Mood Match: try to match the mood and voice tone of your conversation partners for a moment before delivering what you have to say, there is no need to try to make the most intelligent remarks, just use common and unoriginal small talks
11. Prosaic with Passion: the way your delivery your topics is more important than the topic itself, 80% of your listeners impression has nothing to do with your words but your energy and passion
12. Always Wear a Whatzit: help others to approach you by wearing a ‘whatzit’ (what’s it) to open up the conversation and vice versa (search for others’ whatzit)
13. Whoozat: ask your acquaintances introduce to strangers that you find interesting
14. Eavesdrop In: stand near a group, try listening to their conversation, when a suitable topic pops up, let that be an excuse to join in the group: “excuse me, I couldn’t help but overhear your discussion about … “
15. Never the Naked City: learn the history of your hometown, when asked about ‘where are you from?’, response with more facts/descriptions in addition to the place, e.g. I am from Hong Kong, which is used to be called the Pearl of the Orient or one of the most densely populated place in the world
16. Never the Naked Job: when asked about ‘what do you do?’, response with more details than your job titles
17. Never the Naked Introduction: when introducing others, say something interesting (job, hobby, talents, feats) about them to their new acquaintance
18. Be a Word Detective: listen to every words of your conversation partners and look for clues for their preferred topics
19. The Swiveling Spotlight: when you meet someone, put the spotlight on them by focusing the conversation on their lives, let them talk most, which in turns they will like you most
20. Parroting: repeat the last few words your conversation partner say with a sympathetic and questioning tone
21. Encore: with a VIP in a party, try to remember an appropriate and important feats of the VIP and ask him/her to tell the new acquaintances
22. Accentuate the Positive: tell new acquaintances about positive, funny things first (if and only if you are heavy weights, it is okay to tell one or two silly things to bring you closer to the rest)
23. The Latest News …… Don’t Leave Home Without It: get the most updated news for useful small talk topics before meeting others, topics can be the up-coming weather, breaking news, the traffic, new offers, but no politics please